Growth Mindset and Empowerment: A Young Carer’s Experience with WhyOhYou

A young carer recounts their positive experience with the WhyOhYou programme, a 5-week personal development course for youths aged between 15 and 18.

Being at WhyOhYou made me acknowledge what I already knew. This includes my motivations, the problems I’m currently facing and will face, and what to do with my future which, at the time, I couldn't really pin down despite my rough ideas.  

The WhyOhYou sessions gave my blurry thoughts the clarity they deserved.  

One thing I learnt about was automatic labels, something I didn’t really know existed. The course facilitators explained [automatic labels] as being in a fixed mindset and not being open to new possibilities, which could then negatively affect us as it becomes your identity. For me, I do it because I want to be putting myself down to relate to others, or to comfort myself. This, in itself, is not a bad thing but statements such as "I'm always forgetful”, “I'm not good at maths” and “I'm terrible with names" aren't helpful. I know that it’s not good, but I do it anyways. These statements seem harmless but because you keep repeating [them], you make [them] into a reality. 

Automatic labels aren't bad unless you make [them] bad.  

Instead, WhyOhYou taught me to have a growth mindset. Instead of thinking that I'm forgetful or that I'm not good at math, I realise now that I can work on it and improve! That's why, even though I know I don't love maths, I will never say that I'm not good at maths because I know that's not entirely true. 

During WhyOhYou, the facilitator trained us to come up with our own decisions. This made it clear for me to understand what I can focus on and the person I want to be now!  

My first WhyOhYou session was three years ago. I found it very difficult in the beginning, especially since one of the ice breakers was that we had to dance. Initially I found this terrifying, but it actually made me like dancing now. During the sessions, I was encouraged to speak out more. I was very shy when I started, but being part of WhyOhYou encouraged me to speak up more, making me love speaking more now.  

Repeating the programme three times was never a waste of time.  It helped me build reassurance, how to learn from my experiences and that I can achieve my goals and dreams.  

One of my favourite parts of the programme is that we are given juggling balls at the end of every session. We had designated time to practice, and we tried to make the longest possible round of passing the balls! Even though I'm not an expert level juggler, I really liked it and it allowed me to build determination and patience.   

Another activity that we did was making the tallest possible towers out of sticks and marshmallows; a team building exercise which was super fun overall.  In the beginning, working with my friends was quite difficult because we didn't know what we wanted to do and we were left to do this activity without any help. Even though we didn't win, I'm really proud of that crumbling tower. It was one of the few times I let my team help me decide what to do, rather than just telling them what I wanted and becoming a dictator.  

[WhyOhYou] improved my communication skills and teamwork, and I realised that I don't always need to have the best idea. Even if our execution wasn’t the best, it still didn’t hinder my self-worth. I would like to be more open to others’ thoughts and feelings when I work in a team because they have ideas that I could never have thought of. WhyOhYou taught me the importance of teamwork and listening to others within my team.  

I would recommend WhyOhYou to young people around my age as it gives you a good tool kit for life. It has helped me to set goals and targets, something I actively do. For example, I set goals I want to achieve by the end of my current school year. These include making lots of friends, applying to work experience/extra-curricular opportunities, and getting really good at the software I use at school to help improve my photography and computer skills.   

I also have personal targets outside my studies which include health and finance. For instance, one of my goals is to enter taekwondo competitions this year. My team and I have already had the chance to perform at the Jack Petchey awards ceremony and I’m very proud of this!  

To conclude, WhyOhYou is a programme that has helped me, and lots of other young people, grow in confidence, set goals, and understand what we want from life in terms of personal achievements, academics, and professional achievements. It has helped me build reassurance and flush out the noise when life gets overwhelming and stressful.  

I would do it again if I could!